Spilling the Beans

Yesterday, I just had a chat with a patient of mine who had stage 4 liver cancer. Like all the other conversations I had, it was just about what they were doing and what do they plan to do in the near future. I always ask this question, especially to  very ill patients, in order for them to focus on something other than their illness.

But suddenly, the conversation shifted to his problem of sleep. He stated that he wouldn’t be able to sleep and that he would somehow get memories of his past. Like a movie playing at an accelerated rate, it recounted his past life ever since he could remember.

I was a bit happy for him, for this is part of the healing. The healing of the past hurts in his life, which was I would definitely say, very traumatic for anyone. Being left an orphan from a well-to-do family, he was “sold” to his second family. It was very painful for him more since he could distinctively remember he had a sister, who he has never seen again.

And yet… I was sad. For patients to be having “life reviews,” it will definitely mean either they  get well or move on to the next life.
I’ve seen it already a few times, and this one is no exception. I just hope he will be liberated from these pains soon. Its the emotional pain that will not go away or be dulled by any pain killer.

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